November 2005 Archives

Yes, so I've been riding all these rides that leave me feeling very brave and proud of myself, but what I didn't mention is I'm progressively losing my voice.

I rode a roller coaster. (Entry on fear here.) Okay, I've kind of ridden them before, I guess. But I've been going to amusement parks around the country with my dad since early childhood, and I've always phobically avoided any roller coasters or anything similar, or anything with any kind of drop or suspected drop. I was too scared to even wait in line with Dad for such rides, even with assurance they would not make me ride, too. I couldn't even watch movies about roller coasters without closing my eyes. And do you have the roller coaster screen saver that I have? I don't even care to watch that. But I've made my way increasingly through very scary rides these days--Mission: Space, which makes you feel like you're launching into space with incredibly realism and subjects you to 2.5 Gs; Revenge of the Mummy, which just so turns out not to just be a very scary dark ride, but a roller coaster in disguise, too; and today, Tower of Terror, in which the elevator you're in breaks and you car drops up to 13 stories. After I took all this in stride I began to think I could indeed ride a roller coaster, as long as it didn't have "roller coaster" in its name.

However, as Nimmers and Aaron (my other brother) went to ride Rock'N'Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith, I decided to wait in line with them, just so I could see what the interior of the building--always a treat with Disney--was like, and to catch a glimpse at the ride before exiting (a.k.a. "chickening out"). By the time we'd walked there and waited in line, I decided to ride. "I know I'll hate it," I said, "but I might as well keep pushing my limits." I figured I could survive a few minutes of anything, and besides, I never had to ride it again, right?

The idea behind this one is that you're in a stretch limo, taking an alternative and speedy route to get to an Aerosmith concert. The ride starts off by shooting you roughly 0 to 60 in 3 seconds, and then immediately into a loop. The entire ride is indoors, in the dark, and accompanied by constant Aerosmith music.

I was so nervous. This is an understatement. I pulled all of my inner power tools out to psyched myself up, brace myself, and attempt to calm myself down. I gripped onto my harness with a death grip from both hands. As our cars pulled to the launch area and awaited a green light, I was taking lots of rapid, deep breaths. And we were off!

After the first few seconds of fear--during which I think I was too scared to even scream--something strange happened. I said, "Wow". And then, "Wow!" And later, "Oh, wow!" Instead of screaming, I was in complete awe. I actually looked at the track, a component of my coaster phobia whose sight in itself has always been enough to make me nervous. I watched the track as we went through my first corkscrew turn, watching the cars ahead of me twist themselves upside down at high speeds and then, a split second later, experiencing the same thing myself. And it was...exhilarating. It was...exciting! And fun! And weirdest of all, pleasant. The sights, the sounds, and, to my great astonishment, even the feel of the ride was enjoyable. It was great!

The first thing I said at the completion of the ride was, "--and we can't even do it again!" because the park was closing. How unfair! I can't believe I've spent so much time in my life avoiding such things. It was so fantastically great. I must find a way to get back to MGM Studios and ride that again. Anyone willing to come with?

Nimmers bought his favorite flavor of pie (French silk) from Perkins. As we came back to the hotel and everyone dug into pie and spaced out in front of the tv, I thought, "This is Thanksgiving!"

I went ahead and ate two pieces, which is at least four times what I need. However, I just found my scale in my trunk and carried it to my room where I found that, fully dressed, I'm at the low end of my already-low acceptable weight range. Go me! Eat pie!

Today we've been to MGM Studios, where I bravely rode the Tower of Terror. However, as I started to continue that thread I realized I'm already writing yet another boring, poorly-written entry. Do I have time to really capture what it was like to ride that and what it means? Would I want to?

So, in the spirit of modern American Thanksgiving, I should instead take a nap, watch tv, or otherwise be sloth-like and gluttonous.

I didn't want to put that last entry up because it's not well-written. A lot of my posts are that way. But on the other hand, I know if I tell myself I can only post that which I have written well, I'll never post anything.

I don't even have time to write about all that's going here, but days and millions of memories are passing by and not a word is being said.

God bless Carl and our clients for the time off given to me to be with my children.

I've soaked up every laugh, and who could count how many times I've bent over and caressed a cheek, given a kiss, stroked hair or exchanged a few personal words? We've played and ran and rode and been wowed. We manned a trip to outer space today and traveled half way around the world. We watched fireworks! I don't want to forget what it's like to feel my six year old's hand in mine, or any other sensation, the way Shay's voice changes when she's upset or how her face lights up with attention, or the way Bri shakes her head and bites her lip to indicate she's not changing her mind. It's all so wonderful, so blissfully wonderful.

I am so excited about my children's impending visit. I am reading up on all the parks here. I am being dumb. I am thinking about riding roller coasters. I have a lifelong aversion to rollercoasters or anything with any kind of drop. As time has gone on I have gradually acquainted myself with such things, riding Magic Kindgom's Splash Mountain with its five story plunge in 1999. I was so proud of myself, we took pictures afterward. I survived!

I've pushed the envelope. I rode Worlds of Fun's Spinning Dragons, and we (it was a weird group--my ex, Nimmers; my real dad; me, the kids, and TNG) declared that I could forever more say I had ridden a rollercoaster.

This bolstered my confidence, and I went on to ride Boomerang. Oh god. Oh god, I did not enjoy that. I never rode a roller coaster again. But then, I haven't really been to an amusement park since. I haven't been to the parks in Orlando since 1999. I am über excited. I want to ride everything! I think I will ride Space Mountain at Magic Kingdom for the first time, now that I know "there are no long drops or swoopoing hills...only quick, unexpected turns and small drops"; I am intrigued by its fan following. I think I will ride Tower of Terror at MGM Studios, even though the idea of being in a crashing elevator is terrifying to me. I might do Revenge of the Mummy at Universal Studios. All of these rides have so much to offer--"extraordinary visual and audio effects", "at least one special effect for each of the senses", "rich and compelling", "magnificent detail", "worth riding even if you don't fancy the drops involved", etc. I will not, however, be riding things like this:

The Incredible Hulk Coaster, Islands of Adventure: "There is, as always, a story line, but for this attraction it's of no importance whatsoever. What you need to know about this attraction is simple: You will be shot like a cannonball from 0 to 40 miles per hour in two seconds, and then you will be flung upside down 100 feet off the ground, which will, of course, induce weightlessness. From there it's a mere seven rollovers punctuated by two plunges into holes in the ground before you're allowed to get out and throw up."

I can't wait, can't wait, can't wait for my kids to be here. I'm mixing topics, sorry.

All quotes from The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World 2006 by Bob Sehlinger

Someone In New York has inquired about the blog entries I've teased him with. I have indeed written about him twice on my Livejournal blog, but with the beauty of that journal I blocked him and others (who might not be interested) from being able to view what I said. "I've written about you, but you can't read it!" Not very nice of me, huh? So I've thought about it. I would indeed like him to know the nothing-but-good I've said about him, but perhaps in a more dignified, suitable-for-public manner. Then I realized, this blog is where such words should be.

I've been saying this guy is too good to be true since I first encountered him, and the more I've gotten to know him I have only been able to add exclamation points to the sentiment, as I continue to learn he's every bit as good as he seems. It is entirely too good to be true that he likes me, too.

So there, my friend.

Originally posted Oct. 17. I thought of something else I had to have, and I'll put it right at the top of the list below.

Things I Want For Christmas

To see Iron & Wine this year!
Every single Bright Eyes album EVER! I really mean it!
Cookie Monster!
My god, I'm in love!
Flavia desk calendar
Candles (forever on my list)
Chocolates (I've been wanting these for many years now)
Soap
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Deeper Thoughts by Jack Handey
Deepest Thoughts by Jack Handey
Lost Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Fuzzy Memories by Jack Handey
Anything having to do with Mitch Hedberg or Andy Kaufman
Stovetop espresso maker
Burt's Bees products

Since I read the news every day now, I find a lot of interesting tidbits. Today I learned who the 15 sexiest men alive are in 2005 (so says People magazine, who felt the need to notify me by email). Matt Damon, they say, is one of the sexiest, but I knew that already. I've been saying that since about 1997 when I saw the movie Good Will Hunting. In fact, there was a time when I would have said that Matt Damon was the hottest. However, upon seeking futher opportunities to drool over him, I finally had to admit he's not that hot. I realized it is Will Hunting, the character Matt plays in the movie, that I am in love with. Will Hunting, now he's hot.

The FDA won't allow companies to say that lycopene may lower cancer risk. Some of you (like poor TNG) know I did a huge research project on lycopene for my Senior Seminar class. I do happen to know a wee bit about lycopene through my hundreds of pages of studies on the subject, so let me say this: The FDAs decision is hogwash.

In more ways than one I disagree with this decision, but I am pressed for time. The studies I saw did indeed show a decrease in cancers correlated to lycopene, particularly prostate cancer. Lycopene is great for many a thing and I wish I had time to divulge, but please ignore the idiotic FDA. (What's the harm in saying lycopene may lower cancer risk? People might eat too many tomatoes?) Please, eat your ketchup and pizza. Please, consider apricot, watermelon, papaya, guava, and grapefruit. Lycopene is a potent antioxidant (more so than beta carotene or vitamin E--two and three times, respectively) which is transported in your cholesterol (helping prevent its oxidation) and stored in your body. Arrgh, I shouldn't try to write about health when in a hurry. I shut up. Eat your tomato products, thank you.

I did exercise yesterday. Finally! I did the treadmill (mostly walking), and then weights. I feel deliciously sore today, a feeling I for some reason relish. I want to feel sore every day! I feel good.

However, in my weight lifting research I read once more that you should not work out if your muscles are sore, as those muscles are still being repaired. I bet if I went back to my sources and reread I'd find they had only meant not to rework the same muscle groups--surely today with sore legs I could've worked my biceps. I did think about it, or at least, I meant to do aerobic exercise but no lifting. Instead, I ended up using this tidbit of info (and some other fairly legitimate things) as an excuse not to exercise at all. I seem doomed, don't I?

Tomorrow, it's treadmill, arms and abs! Really!

Four people today stopped and exclaimed, "Ooh! Is that the new iPod?! Can I see it?!"
"Sure," I said, smiling with pride (and with the fleeting thought, "What if they drop it?").

Man, it was awesome, just this once, to be that guy--the one with the cool new gadget everyone wants. Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Apple.

(Note the Nano is *the* recommended mp3 player by Consumer Reports, who also recommends it for those who need style. It is indeed a thing of beauty.)

Everyone keeps asking me how I like my iPod nano. I tell them I like it but haven't used it much. I got it on my last visit home as a gift from my lottery-winning mom, but I stayed so busy while home...and since I've been back in Florida it's been locked safely in my car which I rarely access. Today I made a point to retrieve it from hiding and thus today was the first day I really carried it out in public. It was a momentous day.

We were at the mall and I was starting to grow a bit weary of it, when suddenly I had an epiphany. I took the day into my hands. No more was my mall experience to be dictated by Yo-Yo Ma (nothing against him). I pulled my nano out of my pocket, put the speakers in my ears, and turned it on. Instantly, all was blocked out but the sweetness of my music. Mine! Suddenly the world was on my terms.

The corners of my mouth stretched toward my ears. I walked with purpose. I walked with hipness. As I stepped on the escalator, back to the rail, my spirits soared. It was one of those moments where any additional happiness would have been beyond capacity and would've spilled over as tears. The sun shone, the music played on, and life just rocked.

Apple Store #2, Orlando. Or rather, this is my Apple Store #6 all in all... I think. I still wish there were patches, stickers, fridge magnets, keychains-- something to serve as souvenirs and badges of honor to commemorate such visits. I travel the world visiting Apple stores and what do I get? Only personal satisfication and the label of geek, weirdo, and fanatic. What can I say? Apple stores make me happy.

I saw this on tissues today by Sniff. However, this particular image came from a site I instantly fell in love with, Anne Taintor Inc. I'm madly in love. More images will have to follow!

Since I've started making money I've gradually been adding to the list of things I cannot buy. For example, when I see cute shoes, I remember my promise: "NO MORE SHOES!" No more earrings, either, after I accidentally spent $30 buying some for me and the girls (mind you, we got 25 pairs or so for that price, but still, I hadn't meant to spend near that much on earrings!). The list of things I "need" keeps growing smaller, but I had really wanted to buy a new perfume. Scent makes me happy-- but with perfume I'm particular. I want the "one" scent that is me, that makes me say, "Ooh!" or "Ahh!" whenever I smell it, that expresses who I am, that is fun and flirty and lively and all things me. How would I ever?

I was wandering in a department store when a sales lady asked me if she could help. She asked me what fragrances I liked and I named two I had owned and loved years ago, but don't love anymore (Cool Water for Women by Davidoff and Estee Lauder's Pleasures). How could this information be of help? How could she, not knowing me, have any idea what to recommend? The lady showed me several scents, all of which I liked, but it was the first one that it was "it". She had taken me directly to it.

It's not *exactly* me, but it's dang close. (Don't laugh.) I was happy to see it described as "like the joy of living". My favorite fragrance, which is discontinued, is joie de vivre--joy of life, "hearty or carefree enjoyment of life", "a keen enjoyment of living". It can't be topped. (If you find some, send it my way!)

This one starts with Granny Smith apple and Sicilian citron and adds bluebells, jasmine, bamboo, white rose, and finally, cedarwood, amber, and musk. (Or so they say.) It's light and fresh and clean, fruity and fun, and feminine and sort of sexy, too. Sadly, I've heard rumored it's quite popular. How uncool.

I'm at one of the Apple stores in Orlando (Score!) and I just tried to ask out the store manager.

Well, really, you see, this guy that was helping us was really handsome. Initially I just took note, but the more I watched him, the more I realized that this was guy was really hot. (Yes, in large part because he's a Mac guy.) Later, standing next to him, I realized I was seriously attracted to him. I was caught off guard by the realization--rarely do I meet a guy I'm physically attracted to just like that. Very rarely. I decided I had to do something. What would it hurt? I couldn't walk out of here and always wonder, and I couldn't come back just to ask him out.

I sauntered up to another Apple guy sitting at a help desk. "You know Chris?"
"Chris? Our manager?" he asked. Whoa. I didn't know the guy was the manager of the store. I smiled and asked with daring confidence, "Is he single?"
The guy looked a little amused and surprised. "Uh, no, actually, I think he has a girlfriend."
I gave him my best smile, the one that is, in my mind, warm and seductive. "Just wondered," I replied, and walked away.

I now add "going out with someone I meet in a Mac store" to my life's to do list. How awesome would that be?!

Here's what the store looked like. View image

My evening eating a five course dinner at Norman's restaurant at the Ritz-Carlton Orlando, Great Lakes has to be mentioned.

I nearly ruined the evening by stressing out and not getting ready time. Really, I tried! I don't know where my time went, but suddenly I had five minutes to dry and style my hair and do my makeup. Literally five minutes. If you've ever styled hair and done your makeup or seen someone who has, you know that five minutes is a laughable time. I didn't feel I had anything proper to wear and my dress had to be tied in three different places and I couldn't get it right and I was so nervous and rushed and stressed out I almost burst into tears. When I finally emerged, he was looking handsome in his suit and was gracious enough not to be irked with me. He had brought me a beautiful boquet of flowers and we didn't even have time for me to admire them!

I was convinced I'd do something idiotic during dinner, perhaps use the wrong fork or attempt to eat something inedible, but my friend and our waiter put me at ease. The dining experience was divine. We ordered the monthly themed five course meal; ours was New Orlean inspired. What a lovely experience, sitting in that place, all glass and flickering flames, draped in my pretty dress and shawl, sipping a perfect Argentinian wine, enjoying my company, and awaiting the next delight to arrive from the kitchen. Each dish was a work of art both in appearance and taste. It amazed me that from arrangement to aroma to texture to taste, all was so carefully and delicately crafted to most pleasing ends. What an absolute delight from beginning to end. What an exquisite pleasure.

I need a place where health information goes. This is just a rough draft, so please forgive.

Here are my latest professional recommendations on artificial sweeteners as they stand having just researched a little further, subject to change:

To be more concise: Artifical Sweeteners and Safety

1. Best choice: Sucralose/Splenda is, as far as I know as of yet, completely safe and most similar to sugar. In my opinion, it tastes the most like sugar as well. You'll find it in yellow packets, and even many sugar-addicted and/or picky eaters I know find it acceptable. I'm a big fan of Splenda.

2. Next best choice: Saccharin/Sweet'N Low (pink packets). Sure, there's that whole "increased bladder cancer in rats fed the equivalent of hundreds of cans of diet soda a day" study people love to discard for its ridiculousness, but the fact is that numerous studies do indeed point to a possible carcinogenic effect in animals, and a few have pointed to a correlation between saccharin ingestion and cancer (although, of note, many others have not shown any such thing). Saccharin has been studied extensively since its discovery in 1879 and no study has yet shown saccharin causes any harm to humans when ingested at "real life" levels.

Why on earth consume a possible carcinogen, you ask? I ask myself that sometimes; for example, when eating charbroiled, barbecued, or blackened foods. (Another topic in itself, I know!) I suppose the answer is that sometimes eating carcinogenic substances is unavoidable, and sometimes it's preferable to the alternative.

Whether or not saccharin consumption is preferable over sugar, I do not feel at this time I can advise. I tend to choose the former over the latter, but occasionally I'll choose sugar. When I feel I can provide an answer you can bank on, I'll advise.

3. ASPARTAME. Yes, I, too, think aspartame is evil! (Nutrasweet/Equal, blue packets) Perhaps you didn't know about this "evil aspartame" phenomena. My first real introduction was when I heard tell of how my mother had been suffering all sorts of mysterious ailments while using aspartame as her primary sweetener daily. A little internet research brought her to the information of how dangerous aspartame is and, I assume, the conspiracy of the government to hide this information from us. Mom stopped using aspartame and WAH LA! her symptoms disappeared and she could sleep well again at night--literally. The government has this say to about the phenomena:

"This message [of aspartame's safety] would not necessarily be apparent to consumers surfing the Internet, especially those who use Web-based search engines to find information about sugar substitutes or artificial sweeteners. Websites with screaming headlines and well-written text attempt to link aspartame consumption to systemic lupus, multiple sclerosis, vision problems, headaches, fatigue, and even Alzheimer's disease. One report distributed nationally over e-mail systems claims that aspartame-sweetened soft drinks delivered to military personnel during the Persian Gulf War may have prompted Gulf War syndrome."

While I feel this site is right to trump science over anecdotal evidence, I must point out that if the government were indeed lying or mistaken in their trust of aspartame, anecdotal evidence is all we'd have to the contrary. I have personally known incidents in which the public outcry proved true against the authorities, so I know this is possible. Officially the FDA claims that saccharin lies in question while aspartame is undoubtedly safe. Not to disregard science, but I'd simply have to disagree.

I don't even feel I have to support my argument farther than this: aspartame breaks down in the body into toxic substances such as methanol, formate, and formaldyhde. Do we need more formaldyhde in our bodies? (I'd personally argue that even in death the answer is no.) I'm already making this entry too lengthy. Please, feel free to take a look at aspartame and see if you disagree with my conclusions.

4. Finally, there is what I call the invisible artificial sweetener: Acesulfame-K (acesulfame potassium), marketed as Sunette or Sweet One. I had never even heard of it until my last semester in school, but now that you have, look and see for yourself: It is found quite commonly in products, often added in with other artificial sweetners. Why does no one ever speak of this one? I'm not sure. I've got more research to do.

I decided rather than eating lunch I'd treat myself to some vending machine cookies. The wall signs pointing to the vending machines kept pointing me to empty hallways, and then to soda machines but no snacks. I tried other floors. (I passed an elderly couple with canes taking the stairs while I used the elevator to go up and down a flight at a time. I was shamed.) Finally I found a snack machine on the first floor. It was telling all who would listen, "Use correct change". Also, "Accepts dollar bills". I tried to give it a crisp one dollar bill, to no avail. I tried pushing my selection first, then giving money--no. I tried again, and it began to appear to be lying: It wouldn't even consider taking a dollar bill. Finally, eyeing all the numerous cookie choices (Famous Amos again? Chips Ahoy--mini or regular? Shortbread?) I started digging through my peaked change. Successfully I got a dollar's worth recognized, but still it would not let me make a selection. I wondered if the unpriced cookies were over $1.00 and fed the machine more. I got my total all the way up to $1.10. My nickel was rejected. I could find no other dimes. Then I found another quarter! But wait! The machine said I had to use exact change! $1.35 wouldn't be exact change! What should I do? I ejected my coins to start again, using exact change the next time. (I'm an obedient girl.) However, suddenly the machine spit out a crisp one dollar bill. I just stared at it; it's not often a machine offers me money. I stared at it for a second, and then I took the money. I pondered what strategy I should use next to get my cookies, but then I remembered the "trick" of gambling: It's not that people don't win, it's that they re-gamble what they earn. "Quit while you're ahead," I've heard too many times. How often does a vending machine score you a dollar? I took my dollar and left.

(In my hotel room, I found a bag of microwave popcorn. Double-score! Lunch time!)

I was going to bed. Then I had a better idea:

How about a candlelit bath? The hottest of water to serve as a relaxant and masseuse in one. To soak to peace, seduced by the lullaby of flowing sound until, washed clean and refreshed yet seduced to forgetting, I crawl clean and warm and soft and sleepy to my bed, bare skin to clean linen, tucked in blanket, to nestle into its arms with its reassurance and, then, drift away?

There is something exciting and promising, yet familiar and comforting, about my new "home". There is something to an army of clean towels at my service, a big treat of a bathtub that is not mine (and thus stays eternally clean!), of little bottles of shampoo and bars of soap, tucked away, gifts to me. And my choice of places to sleep! The place is mine, the beds present themselves for my choosing, and the only requirement of me is that I pick one to hold me.

It is 6:30am. It is very late. In my five hours of sleep, I have overslept.

I have an assortment of weird tasks left to do. For example, I have to clean out the fridge, removing anything that would be too hideous if left for a few weeks. Likewise, I've got to take care of the few dirty dishes lingering and take out the trash. I need to brew a pitcher of tea so I have something to drink, and take all the snack-like non-perishable foods with me I can.

I am so late. I should be on the road by now!

What on earth is going on with my comments??

I really can't stay up any later trying to fix it. I'm angry at whatever forces keep insisting my friends' comments are of dubious content. Keep commenting! Email them to me if you have to! I savor and appreciate my comments.

Below are comments that have been refused--sorry to embarrass you guys, I'll take this down and put them in their proper places once I arrive in Orlando: