September 2006 Archives

Before it is too late, let me remind you that it is ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY!!! One week.

Here are things that always make good gifts: Tea, chocolate, wine, Kahlua, sushi dinner dates, pajamas, cute panties, bellydance stuff, candles, things that smell good, cooking stuff, stuff you'd get at a place like World Market, stuff you'd get at a place like Williams Sonoma, stuff you'd get at a place like Harry and Davids, stuff you'd get a Barnes & Noble, stuff you'd get at 13 Moons or Third Planet...which brings me to books, journals... healthy stuff, natural stuff... Okay, that's a good starting point.

Specifics to come if I ever have time, which I never seem to have these days.

Tonight was the perfect night for my friend Jason's birthday present for me to arrive.

I don't use real names on this blog, but he deserves the recognition.

Jason, my friend, you've always been so sweet to me when I haven't even deserved it. THANK YOU for the time, thought, and effort that you gave to me. You have no idea how much I needed this tonight.

Happy birthday to me!

Congratulations to Shay, who got a part at her very first audition ever!

Someone sent me flowers today.

Yeah, I can't believe it either. I must've missed the delivery by a few minutes, but the shock value of seeing a florist's card on my door was just the same. Wow, was that unexpected.

Excited and inpatient, I opted to go pick them up myself. All the way to the florist's I asked myself, "Who would send me flowers? Who?"

I got the bouquet--oh, so beautiful!--and couldn't help breaking into a big grin. A girlish giggle may even have escaped my lips. I read the card:

I wish you all the luck in the world with all that you need to do. You have my fondest respect, admiration and support. As does your elf. Gnome. Whatever.

To you, this surely reads as an odd note, but to me, it was perfect, a mixture of words that brought tears to my eyes and a laugh to my day. It was absolutely perfect--the gnome part being a bit of an inside joke--and so very needed...so very comforting at a time like now. How sweet. How thoughtful.

It boggles my mind that this person would do this for me. You see, he and I haven't even met yet.

How can a person be this wonderful? And to me? How?

Oh, friend, if only I could assure you blessings in equal measure for this goodness you've done me! As it is, I will wish my hardest for them for you.

Today was a day of going to an Oktoberfest, journeying from booth to booth decorating pumpkins, making spin art, playing games, breaking boards martial-arts style and meeting lots and lots of people.

Today was a day of friends, having one who borrowed a truck and drove an hour to pick up a mattress he got for me, a day of carrying mattresses on our heads, giggling while we moved furniture, and hugs. It was a day to watch a new friend perform live music.

Today was a day for contemplation, for time spent in solitary pursuits.

It was a lovely day, clear and in the low 70s, with leaves of golden green just offering a tantalizing hint of the colours that are soon to come.

It was a day of peace and love, appreciation and cooperation, peppered with pensiveness.

"So I've met someone," I tell people, because I have, and because 'though I've met lots and lots of someones this past year--some I liked, even--I know this one is something in particular. I just know.

I've met someone with whom I was instantly comfortable, a banter rolling between us as easily as a ball between playmates. Someone with whom every minute was a delight and every corner turned yielded a similarity in opinion, interest, thought, feeling, and taste to a degree that would almost be eerie if not realized to be but a marvelous rarity of match. This someone made me feel safe and liked without question at a time when both are distant dreams. "We must've been a couple in a former life," I've teased. "We're from the same planet," he's said. It's been like opening a hundred cupboard doors and finding a surprise behind each one, each just the thing you'd been wishing for. It seemed we could not get enough of each other.

And what I finally just really realised last night is that he's moving. He's going, he's gone, and that is the reality of it, inserted like a knife to puncture this balloon of hot air. You see, I value things like this. I value people, I value love and friendship, I value the rarity of meeting someone with whom you are simply on the same wavelength. I value it very much and thus believe in pursuing such things ardently. But I have to remember these are my magical beliefs, and haven't I learned better by now than to hope for good things in life like people who are honest and won't hurt me, such silly things as being loved and special someones? Because this one is moving away--he just walked out my door--and I need to snuff these hopes and feelings right now, before I care any more than I do about what isn't going to be.